‘The View’ Debates the Significance of Dad

 

The Last week on The View, guest co-host Terry Crews got into a scuffle with his female co-hosts by emphasizing the importance of fathers. “There are some things that only a father can give you,” he said. Crews listed a number of things, one of which is confidence. “Because when your father tells you you can do something, you believe you can do it.”

In better times, a comment like this would be met with applause. But in a country in which single parents have more than tripled as a share of American households since 1960, such an assertion becomes an outright attack. Indeed, a very defensive Jenny McCarthy chimed in with this: “I’m a single mother, and I can guarantee you I can give [her son] Evan every one of those things!”

Fortunately, the level-headed Sherri Shepherd—despite being a single mother—pointed out that while single mothers have no choice but to try and fulfill the role of mom and dad, the reality is they can’t. “What I appreciate about a father…because I do think you need a mother and a father…I think there are things a father can do that a mother can’t.”

She then offered a fantastic example. “Like fathers…the tears don’t bother a man as much. Like my friend Bone Hampton, he has a son, he’s raising him beautifully. That boy will cry, and Bone will say ‘Get up, wipe it up, you can do it.’ Me with Jeffrey, he’ll start cryin and I’m goin, ‘What’s goin on, Baby?”

Well that was enough to give Whoopi Goldberg heart palpitations. “Wait! Wait! Wait!” she screamed, as Shepherd was forced to insist she’s “not trying to take anything away from mothers.”

“But you ARE!” whines Goldberg. “You’re taking from mothers because the mothers whose husbands maybe have died…Listen, I was raised by a single mother, and the story I got from my dad was, ‘You’re kinda on your own, Babe.”

Then McCarthy says to Crews, “Every single thing that you’ve mentioned I see in Evan. I’ve managed to imitate what a man does.”

Goldberg’s and McCarthy’s responses speak volumes.

Many women who are single mothers, or who were raised by single mothers, become highly emotional when it comes to fathers. They can’t honor a man’s role in children’s lives because that would mean they (or their mothers) failed. We can all sympathize with the delicate nature of this subject. But dismissing uncomfortable truths doesn’t make them any less true.

Sherri Shepherd was a breath of fresh air. Unlike her co-hosts, she was able—despite being twice divorced and a single mother—to separate her story from the facts. She knows that just as there are things mothers offer that fathers don’t, so must the reverse be true. If that is not the case, if women truly can do the job of both parents, what are fathers good for? Why have them around at all?

I believe what Crews was getting at his visit on The View isn’t all that different from what The Wall Street Journal highlighted last week in “Roughhousing Lessons from Dad.”

“The father serves as a secure base allowing the child to explore and take risks,” writes Sue Shellenbarger. “In an early study at the University of Regensburg in Germany, researchers created a scale to evaluate parents’ play, based on whether they challenged kids to stretch themselves, were sensitive to their emotions and encouraged them to solve problems. Mothers and fathers were observed playing with blocks or play dough with their 2-year-olds. Fathers’ scores were a unique predictor of children’s healthy attitudes toward relationships with others at age 16.” [Emphasis mine.]

Security. Confidence. Purpose. These are just a few of the things fathers offer children. Can a mother do it just as well? Maybe. Sometimes. But all too often, no.

“Therapists’ office are filled with people who discover this later in life, says Crews. By “this,” he means the void left in a child’s life from not having a father. 

One of these days, we’re going to have to acknowledge this.

About these ads
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to ‘The View’ Debates the Significance of Dad

  1. Andrew says:

    The “void” left in a boy’s life caused by an absent father is cavernous! I was raised by a single mother. Mom was great, but she was no Dad. It is not belittling to mothers in the least to observe the simple truth. I’m sorry, but if you’ve put your children in that situation without dire necessity, you’ve done them a major disservice. The effects of which will echo down through all the years of their lives.

  2. m says:

    „“Therapists’ office are filled with people who discover this later in life, says Crews. By “this,” he means the void left in a child’s life from not having a father.“

    I am one of those boys — now in my late 30s — who happen to face exact those problems and i come to realize, that my fatherlessnes might be THE problem, or at least plays a significant role.

    It’s shocking to see how furious some women get, when someone notices that fathers might not be that unimportant. It’s just that: They might have a role, which lets them get off road as if they have seen the devil.

    I think that shows one thing: we a re now living with a generation of females (and some males) who truly believe that men are subhuman.

  3. tedh754 says:

    So is Jenny going to tell her son that other than being a sperm donor he is totally unnecessary?

  4. isa015 says:

    anyone who can stand up to that coalition of clucking hens on the View gets my respect..

  5. Buck Thornton says:

    Did you hear it, over and over what they said to Terry. You are “taking from mothers”. Taking from mothers. Mine mine mine. Everything women see as a threat you are taking because of their sense of self entitlement of what they feel they deserve, and what belongs to them.
    Single mothers – who took the child from their fathers and there is no self reflection on not only what I have STOLEN and denied from the father, but more importantly:
    What I have stolen, and denied, my child.
    That child is a gift from God – the Father – whom HE GAVE to you. Your body does not belong to you. It BELONGS to God who created you. He’s the one who has the right to say of your BODY, and your CHILD, “mine mine mine” but he gave you free will.

  6. Carolyn says:

    Wasn’t Jenny McCarthy married at one point? The show makes it seem like the father is just out of her son’slife for good- which is obviously sad.
    My friend watches this show and told me that Terry Crews has also been quite vocal about overcoming his addiction to porn and winning his wife back. He seems like a great replacement for Barbara Walters or whoever he’s filling in for. It’s wonderful to see someone so strong be so emphatic about the issues confronting families these days.

  7. Well, the queen is the most powerful piece on a chessboard, but you win the game by checkmating the king. Rather symbolic, don’t you think?

    This is what I don’t get. What is it with all these single mothers? I get the feminists and their bad attitudes, misperceived notions of liberation, and all that. What I don’t get is women like Janine Turner. Dallas debutante, she became an actress, starred in that show Northern Exposure some years back. Know who she married? Stephen Jones, son of Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys, a multi-millionaire. That’s one hell of a catch for a Dallas debutante. Are you kidding me? I’m sure she was well provided for, and her children would have inherited a multi-billion dollar dynasty. The details of their divorce were not released or publicized, neither of them have ever said anything about it, but I know that was one huge settlement.

    Now she’s a blogger over at PJM. She bills herself as a conservative, a Republican and a single mother. She’s hit the trifecta! But if she’s a conservative, why is she divorced? If she’s a Republican, why doesn’t she support traditional marriage? And most importantly, why is she a single mother? I mean, this girl had it all. Her child or children could have it all. By divorcing Stephen, she robbed her children of their inheritance. I’m sure he pays a hefty chunk in child support every month, but yet she’s proud of her status as a single mother. I don’t get that.

    I understand that there are legitimate reasons for divorce, any form of physical or emotional abuse, infedility, alchohol or drug abuse, financial irresponsibility, that sort of thing. And some marriages just don’t work out. That’s life. But to walk away from something like this is unfathomable to me. It’s like Priscilla walking out on Elvis. But he had his own problems.

    In chess, one of the most famous moves ever made is known as the Marshall Gambit. In a championship game against Capablanca, one of the greates chess players ever, Marshall sacrificed his queen. It was a move that was so shocking, Capablanca didn’t know what to make of it. Marshall checkmated him three moves later. And why? Because Marshall protected his king, and Capablanca did not.

    There is much to learned from in this analogy. You cannot win a chess game without protected your king. You can sacrifice your queen, or any other piece for that matter. But you must protect your king. Perhaps that’s what Stephen did with Janine, I don’t know.

    Rex Harris said it best, “Never marry an actress. They don’t know when to stop acting.”

    Still, the point remains. In a household, as on a chessboard, the queen, the mother, is most powerful. No one can question that. But in a household, as on a chessboard, the king, the father, is the most important piece. You cannot win without protecting him and supporting him and defending him. It’s that simple, in chess and in life. People seem to have forgotten that.

    The king castles. In other words, he builds a fort. But he can only move one square in each direction, except when he castles. The queen can run all over the board, horizontally, vertically, diagonally. This game is thousands of years old, but it reflects an ancient understanding. The queen is all powerful, but the king is most important.

    Without fathers there can be no household, no castle. This is all about modern women marrying men, divorcing them for 50%, taking their children, and then taking pride in being single mothers. And it’s not just the Democrats, it’s the Republicans as well.

    You cannot win a chess game without your king. You cannot build a household without a father. It’s about time women started to figure that out. But they’re too wrapped up in themselves to understand that they’ve lost the game. You can sacrifice your queen, but you cannot sacrifice your king. If your do that, the game is over.

    • Juan Pablo says:

      can you tell me why you believe that just because the guy is rich she has to stay with him? … hypothetically speaking, if it is a loveless marriage that wasn’t getting better.. isn’t it better to seperate?

      it seems to me you believe that they should just stay together because the guy was rich and wait till he’s dead and that thinking is messed up.

      • Yeah Nope says:

        “can you tell me why you believe that just because the guy is rich she has to stay with him?”

        That isn’t what is saying at all. His point was that unless she had a justifiable reason for divorce (violence, infidelity, substance abuse, etc.), she made a selfish decision which robbed her child(ren) of their father (and a father of his child(ren)).

        “hypothetically speaking, if it is a loveless marriage that wasn’t getting better.. isn’t it better to seperate?”
        Better who whom? Women, absolutely, they are released from all social, and financial obligations toward their husbands, while retaining a significant portion of the social and financial benefits provided by marriage. It’s a win/win situation for them.

        Better for children? That would be an emphatic NO, while I detest the overused and abused phrase “For the children”, there are mountains of evidence indicating that children of single mothers will succumb to a variety of social, psychological, and legal issues at significantly higher rates than children raised in a two parent home.

        Better for fathers? Another emphatic NO, divorce for the majority of men results in loss of access to children, loss of immediate and future financial security (frequently outright poverty), loss of home and loss of social respect. Divorce is one of the highest risk factors for suicide in men.

        Only women and the state benefit from divorce.

  8. Sam says:

    This just goes to show you how insignificant men are portrayed by feminists. Even having a father isn’t needed. Sad.

  9. Juan Pablo says:

    “Security. Confidence. Purpose. These are just a few of the things fathers offer children. Can a mother do it just as well? Maybe. Sometimes. But all too often, no.”

    you’ve got to be joking

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s