Matt Walsh writes about the tired phrase husbands use when they say they “gotta check with the boss.”
Ladies, imagine this scenario: it’s lunchtime at the office. You and some female coworkers are gathered around the wobbly table in the break room. One of you comes up with the idea to get together after work for a drink and a bite to eat. Immediately, one of the gals in the group pulls out her cell phone. “Alright, let me ask the boss.”
Another: “Gotta check with the man in charge.”
Still another: “I don’t know if my husband will let me, but I’ll ask. [Giggles] You know, the boss runs a tight ship.”
You probably haven’t witnessed this scene. American women would never publicly (or privately) refer to their husbands as “the boss,” but follow me into this absurd hypothetical anyway.
So what’s wrong with this situation, other than its utter lack of realism?
Is it that these women are checking in with their spouses? Is it their reflex to consult with their husbands before making this decision? No, of course not. If they’re going to be coming home from work late, they ought to speak with their husbands first.
Alright, then what’s the problem?
“Boss.” The man “in charge.” He’s my “boss.” Not only would you be disgusted by these words, you’d likely assume that the women who said them must be married to abusive, demanding tyrants. Their language choice would make them seem pitiful and their husbands seem despicable. Right?
Well, then maybe you can understand my repulsion when this precise spectacle unfolds among men across the country, millions of times a day. Men often use the “boss” label when referencing their wives. I realize this is sometimes said in partial jest. Sometimes it’s meant ironically. Usually it’s a weak attempt at male bonding. “My wife bosses me around and runs the house, I bet yours is the same way. Let’s commiserate with one another.” But it should stop. Some of you veteran married dudes might not realize it, but younger guys are taking this “my wife is the boss” schtick to heart. And that’s not a good thing for anyone, least of all the women they’re marrying.
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